I Never Should've Said
by Mrs.Mellark101
Summary: Zach's POV of Cammie leaving lots 'o' ZAMMIE! POST BOOK-4 Before book5
1. Never Trust A Spy

I Never Should've Said

Chapter 1 – Never Trust A Spy

_I knew that she wouldn't have come with me…why did I ask her? Things were just going to be weird between us now. Maybe she now thinks that I'll run away by myself. I'd never do that, and neither would she, right? But I have my doubts about her…and myself too. I'm tempted to run…as far away as possible from everything. From the memories, good and bad. _

I sigh as I walk down the corridor towards P&E. Another day of Gallagher girls staring at you. Another lesson of where you on purpose let Bex take you down. Another couple weeks to go until I can be gone of this forever, and leave without questions. I walk out the doors to the P&E barn and see Bex walking towards the barn some way up ahead of me.

"Bex!" I called, and she turned. Her face registered relief and she ran towards me.

"Zach! I've been sooo worried! So, where's Cammie then?"

"With you? Or at the barn already?" Her face crumpled,

"No! I thought she was with you!" Then Liz came out of the barn and ran towards us.

"Ok," she started, "I triple checked the barn! She's not there." She then took me by the shoulders and shook me, "Where is she! Zach, where?"

"I don't know." I said quietly,

"You _have to know,_ Zach." Liz bore into my eyes. I turned away and saw Macey coming out of the mansion doors. I looked behind her to see if Cammie was there. No such luck.

"Macey! Cammie with you?" I called,

"No," she called back, untroubled. I held back a shout of frustration. But then I realized, I knew where she was. Sort of.

"I know where she is!" I gasped, and turned back round to a shocked Bex,

"You what?"

"I know…"

"I'm sorry, did we not just have a conversation including you saying that you didn't know where she was!" Bex looked like she was about to kill me.

"I only realized-"

"Don't tell me that you only realized," cried Liz, "How could you have _only realized?_"

"Follow me."


	2. I've Lost My Mind

Chapter 2 – I've Lost My Mind

I led them to where I and Cammie had just talked. I felt a surge of pain as I just realized I had just been rejected. By Cammie.

"Zach, what the hell are you doing? She's not here." Bex said frustratedly,

"Yeah, I can tell Bex. Thanks." I replied, disgruntled. I looked around. Where would she have gone? Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe she had left. Maybe she was packing now.

"Was she at breakfast?" I asked, and my question hung in the air. But then Liz finally replied as if it was normal,

"Yeah! Like, scoffing her face." Or getting enough food in her for a long journey ahead. Stop! I shouldn't think like this. We'll just go to her room, and she'll be there, feeling ill after a big breakfast.

"Have you checked your room?"

"Well…" Bex started, "I didn't think it would need checking." Excellent.

"Let's go then." I smiled, and we all turned and started to walk. Until –

"Stop," My smile vanished as I turned back around to find Macey with her hands on her hips. "I was just in there. Give up!" Not-so-excellent.

"She's run away!" I shouted. I was glad that the trails of first-years were gone round the corner.

"Shut _up, _Zach! We're trying to think!" Bex glared at me,

"I mean it! I told her to!" It just all had to come out.

"Why would you do that?" Liz screeched,

"You really don't get this whole relationship thing, do you?" Macey frowned at me, disapproving.

"I asked her to run away. But with _me._ Not by herself!"

"Awwww! OK, I forgive, running away with _you_ is way better!" Macey grinned, but it really didn't help.

"Guys! Listen! She's ran away because I gave her the idea!"

"Of course she has…" Liz mumbled,

"What?" Bex, Macey and I said in unison.

"Remember that old book she was always writing in?" She trembled.

"Yeah?" Bex said, confused.

"Why is it on top of the Gillian Gallagher sword case?" We all looked behind Liz, down the corridor and saw what Liz had said. Bex tried to make it normal – not succeeding though.

"She said it was a report…maybe she just really needed to pee and left it there."

"Or it's a diary and she put it there so that we'll find it and know what happened." Liz came to her conclusion. She turned and ran for the book, us on her heels. She grabbed the book and opened it to one of the last pages and began to skim-read. After about 30 seconds, she snapped the book shut and her face paled.

"You're right Zach, she's gone." Liz said, getting whiter by the second.

"Forever?" Bex gasped.

"She's staying off the grid for a while." I said, mainly for myself to hear it out loud, and Liz nodded.

"A while? This is Cammie, so how long will it be?" Macey threw her hands in the air, exasperated. Then we all turned around, to look at the source of the voice that had just said,

"Hand over the book."


	3. Leaving

Chapter 3 - Leaving

"Professor Buckingham?" Liz quivered,

"Well done, Elizabeth." Professor Buckingham called down the halls, and began to stride towards us. "Now, you lot, hand over the book."

"Why should we?" Bex retorted, and snatched the book out of Liz's half-out-stretched hands.

"That book will give clues to Cameron's where-abouts and we need to know all the clues."

"How do you know that Cammies' gone missing?" Macey put her hands on her hips.

"Well girls,-and boy, I can't exactly say that your good at whispering."

I stood there, speechless. But how could I not? What was there left to say? I was being silent a lot these days. The things that could be said were getting fewer and fewer. I once daydreamed about Cammie saying yes to running away with me, and after a while, we never spoke to each other. We didn't need to – we knew exactly what the other one wanted. But I would make her laugh once in a while, just to hear her snappy voice, her light, summary laugh.

"Don't you have a class to teach?" I finally said.

Her head snapped round to me. "Why, Zach, you noticed. But, no. So, come on, you know I'm on your side, so hand over the book. Now."

We stiffened. Then ran.

As we ran through the open Gallagher Academy gates, I called to anyone who would listen, "Where the hell are we going?"

"Just run! OK?" Macey yelled back.

We ran to Roseville. As soon as we entered the town, we tried to rid ourselves of any sign of uniform. Bex and Liz swapped their skirts for shorts they got at one of the corner shops, and we got t-shirts and threw our ties down an alley. We ended up on a bench.

"What now?"

"We run…?" Liz started, and Bex finished,

"…somewhere."

Bex said she knew of a safe house. I didn't really like the idea of 'safe house' considering it probably belonged to the CIA (or knowing Bex – MI6), and everybody was looking for me, for news on my mother.

We went to the safe house anyway, and I didn't voice my problems. I was just thinking of Cammie. But then I remembered we were looking for her, and the others had seemed to completely have forgotten that.

"Why are we going to a safe house if we're looking for Cammie?"

"She might be there." Bex answered, not stopping to look at me.

"The words 'Cammie' and 'safe' don't go together."

"We've been there before. It belongs to Mr. Solomon."

"That safe house?" Macey stopped walking. "Isn't it a bit…obvious to go there?"

"Oopsie daisy." Liz went, as she tripped over a twig and tumbled into Macey – creating a massive heap of teenage girl on the ground.

"This is Cammie, Bex. She wouldn't go somewhere obvious. Or somewhere obviously safe."

"Shut up, Zach! Maybe she is there, maybe she's not. Have you got a better idea? No! So let's try the only idea, OK?" Bex had snapped. Her best friend was missing. She hadn't eaten in an hour. Her make-up was smeared. She had bags under her eyes. It looked like she was getting frown lines already.

I stayed quiet.

For a few minutes, anyway.

I know. I sounded like a kid, but I said it anyway.

"When will we get there?"

"Zach! How many times am I going to have to tell you to shut up in the space of one bloody hour!" Bex snapped. Again.

When we got there, my doubts of Cammie being here greatened. The thing looked like no-one had touched it for centuries. But I guess that was part of the 'safe' thing. After all, we had all been here…within a century.

Macey knocked on the door. No answer.

Bex shouted at the door to open if it didn't want to get its' hinges knocked off. No reply.

Liz stayed back. Well back.

I creaked the door open…and it got slammed in my face. I stumbled backwards but quickly regained my balance.

"What the hell, Gallagher girl?"


	4. Details, Zachariah, Details

Chapter 4 - "Details, Zachariah, Details..."

"What do you mean; What the hell Gallagher Girl? More like what the hell Zach!" Cammie yelled at me from inside the safe house.

"What?" I cried, while rubbing my head.

"Running away usually includes not being found!"

"Yeah, I know that Gallagher Girl."

"They why the bloody hell did you come after me?"

"Whoa, slow down, don't go all Bex on me!"

Bex raises an eyebrow, "You do realize I'm standing, right here?"

Liz fails at containing a triumphant smile at finding Cammie.  
"Of course I know you're there, but this is completely _his _fault!"  
"How the hell is this my fault?" In all fairness, it wasn't me who thought of this place. I half-glared, half-frowned at Cammie but then realized I had come here to save her. But from what I can't even remember.  
She looked down at the floor, embarrassed, and her tone was quiet as she said; "You gave me the idea."  
"When did-Oh." It still isn't exactly my fault, I asked her to run away, sure, but by herself? What was she thinking? And this wasn't exactly off the grid when her three best friends were all spies. "Look Cammie, that was completely different. Completely."

"What was?" Macey asks, putting her hands on her hips. "Details Zachariah, details."

"Zachariah?" Bex frowns,

"What? He needs a name I can call him when I'm mad at him."

"That doesn't matter now." I say,

"No, everyone needs one." Macey counters,

"Not a name! The other thing..." I trail off and assume that by the look on their faces i'm going red.

"Guys, if you're here to save me, I don't want you. I'll be in enough danger of for five people just by going myself."

"Cammie! Going where? You're being stupid." Now it was Bex's turn to put her hands on her hips. Her and Macey shared a glance.

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are." I stare at her and we hold each others gaze. A lump rises in my throat but I ignore it.

"You can't say I'm stupid when you were the one that gave me the idea! _You're_ the one that's being stupid." There's a long silence before Macey says;

"Cammie, if I were you, I would've ended that sentence with Zachariah."

"Zach is actually short for Zachary." Liz whispers.

"Yeah, I know that, but Zachariah sounds better when I'm angry, ok?"

"Guys this has nothing to do with what we're here for!" Bex throws her hands in the air. Cammie sighs and goes back to staring at the ground. "We all know that you would rather go off somewhere to another bloody country but that's not happening, OK? You're coming back with us, willing or not."

And like a stubborn five-year-old, Cammie shouts; "No!" and bolts towards the other end of the cabin.

She jumped out of the already-opened window and made a dash through the forest.

But we were trained. We were ready for this. As soon as her left leg had been outside and she was hauling her other half over, we were running out the front door, automatically splitting - me and Bex going the left side of the cabin, Macey and Liz the right.

"Cammie, don't do this!" Bex yells as the wind picks up, as if it's trying to get us closer to Cammie.

The weather changes dramatically; the sky darkens to a deadly grey and the wind howls.

We run and I see Cammie ahead of me, Bex catching up. I smile even though I shouldn't, because the wind and atmosphere is giving me adrenaline.

I look to the side, at Liz struggling to keep up, Macey trying to beat Bex, Bex focused eyes trained on Cammie.

And it the instance that I look away, all spy instincts side-tracked, my head smacks -BAM- into a branch hanging down.

I hear a "Zachariah, this is no time for lying down!" but it comes out as a laugh from Macey.

I laugh myself, inspite of the whole Cammie thing.

I prop myself up on one of my elbows to see them getting smaller and smaller in my vision.

_Oh god._

**I know it's been a while, but I was reading this and thought the ending was rubbish so I decided to change and update!**


	5. That's What I Call Relationship Problems

Chapter 5 - That's What I Call Relationship Problems

If you were wondering what that thought was for, it was for them all dropping one by one.

First off Cammie had just disappeared, and I had naturally assumed the trees were to her advantage, blocking her. But then Bex, gone. Macey, gone. Liz, gone.

And Me?

Sitting on the ground, puzzled.

I bolt to standing position, and wonder where all my spy training has washed away to. I am looking down at the four of them, glaring at me.

I had walked to the pit in the ground, keeping my cool, whilst thinking through what to say. When I reached the opening, angry glares burned through to my skull.

"Nice to see you too, girls." I smile, shoving my hands in my pockets and playing with the ground dirt with my foot. Casually, of course.

"This isn't funny Zach." Cammie shouts up.

"May I correct you- Zachariah." Macey smiles tightly and her eyes steel up.

"Actually," I say, ignoring Macey. "I think it's _quite _funny."

"Get us _out! Now!"_ Bex yells, "Or I will send you to _bloody hell Zach!"_

"You can't possibly think this was me?"

"Oh no, never. You just banged into a tree because your spy side is having an off day." Bex's eyes flare up and it's just to fun to aggravate that.

"And I thought you didn't know how to play 'Pin The Tail On The Donkey'..."

"What?"

"It was a joke, believe me. You really _pinned it _when you said about my spy side having an off day."

"OhMyGod Zach, you are unbelievable " Cammie sighs and Bex just throws her hands in the air and turns away- probably starting a trial period of ignoring me.

"If you didn't do this then at least try to get us out." Liz folded her arms and looked the pit wall -well over 6ft.- up and down. There was no way of jumping with a running start; the pit was less than 4ft wide.

"You have to admit, it is pretty funny..." I say but before I can laugh again, the girls shout in unison;

"Zach!"

"Alright, alright, I'll look for something in the cabin..." I wander off to the cabin in search of whatever. The cabin supplies me with nothing, only Cammie's neat pile of various items in the bedroom save the girls. She had a metal water bottle, a 6ft long rope, a 1m long wire, and a bunch of other things that were too tangled up to identify. I took the rope and jogged back to the girls.

"You took your time." Macey said, arms folded.

"Fear not, the time wasn't wasted." I revealed the rope and swung it down. Bex grabbed it straight away and begun to climb. My face said it was easy, but inside I was struggling not to let go. I stepped back a few yards to steady myself and I heard a call;

"Having trouble, Zachariah?" Macey laughs and I ignore her. Bex hands appear and clutch the ground. She hoists herself up and I loosen my grip on the rope.

"You OK?" I look into her eyes expecting a thank you, but she walks over and slaps me. I catch her hand before it impacts on my face, and I smile.

She scowls and whips her arm away. "Spy." I say.

"Why'd you trap us in there?"

"Seriously? I didn't even know we'd be coming here, remember?" She turns and I feel a weight on the rope. I grip it and haul it up.

"Ah, Macey." Her manicured nails dig into the ground as she comes over the side and she tosses her shiny, black hair over her shoulder.

Next was Liz, who fell off twice, each time echoing her infamous phrase; 'oopsie daisy'.

Then was Cammie, and as she came up she was silent and quick. She had climbed the rope in a matter of seconds and once at the top stood awkwardly around the girls, as if she had forgotten how The Chameleon system worked.

"Cammie!" I called and as the others theorized on who would leave a giant pit lying around she walked over.

"What do you want Zach?"

"Well, at least someone isn't calling me Zachariah."

She only rolled her eyes at me.

"Why'd you do it?" I said, my tone evening to seriousness.

"You know why I did it, Zach."

"No, I really don't. This is completely different to...you know."

"Is it?"

"Yes! I'm not going to say it again."

"Then leave me alone, it's obviously for the best."

"No it isn't." She stares at me, like I'm something foreign, strange, new, different...unidentifiable. "That'll never be the best option." Does she really doubt my words?

"I need independence with this."

"And I need trust with this." I gesture to her and me.

"This about trust? Do you not know what schools we go to?"

"Cammie, I love you. Don't run away." I hold her by the arms and she feels so fragile, as if when I let go, she'll collapse into a thousand pieces.

"Zach." Her eyes don't completely meet mine, and her tone is wavering into angry. "Let me do this. This isn't about trust, and this sure as hell isn't about love." She thrusts my arms away, and storms off to the girls, probably to tell them, she's going to take off again.

My heart is left bruised and shattered, and there went me thinking she was the fragile one. I stand alone, thinking about everything, what I did wrong. What did I do wrong?

Cammie, I'll make you understand. It is about love, trust, and so much more. Us.

* * *

If you like my stories, visit fanfiction's other site; fictionpress. My profile - u/893823/


	6. Keep Running, Cammie

Chapter 6 - Keep Running, Cammie

Run.

Run.

Keep running.

That's all I know to do now.

Run.

Run.

Run.

Cammie.

Run.

"Cammie!

Run!"

That's why.

I'm not the one that has to do the running.

It's Cammie.

She has to run.

Why?

I don't know.

I probably do know.

Maybe my brain is protecting me.

Or just being stubborn.

It's hard to tell at this point...

When everything is in a whirl.

Oh, Cammie.

Why is it that all you ever do is run?

Even if I'm the one at the starting line telling you to go on...

"Cammie!

Keep running!"

Cammie looks at me.

"But Zach,

I don't want to run forever."

"But you have to."

I beg her to keep running.

She doesn't run.

She lies down next to me.

"I'll only run if you..."

She gulps.

"...If you run with me."

"You know I can't run with you."

I'm not even half-sure why I can't run though.

My sight is a blur.

Everything I hear is an echo.

I can't smell the flowers of the meadow that I'm in.

There is only one sense that makes sense.

I can feel Cammie's hands.

They are entwined in mine.

"Please run."

She shakes her head.

"I'd rather stay with you."

I then contradict everything I've said-

"Thank you for staying."


	7. Trust

Chapter 7 - Trust

My mind wandered through the possibilities of the roots of that dream.

Yes, that was _just a dream._

But that must've been obvious. When does Cammie ever want to stop running?

I had woken up to sunrise, and everyone sound asleep. I was completely disorientated, so had to consult the clock to find out that it was 3:53 in the morning.

I sat up and looked around the cabin as my eyes adjusted to the darkness that I was shrouded in. Of course there was the sunrise, but we had made sure to block out the windows, so now only a crack of orange was visible. Bex lay on the floor near me, and in between her and Liz was Cammie; as if they were trapping her in the middle. Macey had taken the bed.

I watched Cammie sleep. Always when she slept her face was a picture of tranquility, but I silently laughed as I realized that that's a near impossible sight when she is conscious. As she turned slightly, a lock of her hair fell in front of her face. Her nose twitched where the hair had fallen. I anticipated her waking, although I knew that when she woke she would be looking for means of escape to start running again.

Just as I thought the words, her eyes fluttered open.

"You woke me up." She starts calmly, sitting up and brushing away that lock of hair.

"I wasn't making a noise."

"You moved then."

I laugh. Bex stirs but then she goes back to silence.

I stare into her eyes. "Why do you have to go alone?"

"Let's say your mum was still alive. Let's say I didn't have a clue about Blackthorne. Would you really want to be accompanied by me?"

"Why would I want to find my mother?"

"Please Zach," she laughs mockingly at me, "we both know that sooner or later you would want to. Whether it be in a few months, or a few years. If I never found out about Blackthorne...What would you do, in all honesty?"

"I'd tell you."

"That's highly believable."

"No. I would. And do you know why? Because I trust you. And I can't understand why you don't do the same for me."

Her smiles falters and I stand up.

"Where are you going?" She asks, and I head for the door.

"I need fresh air." I open the door and I hear Bex yawn.

"What's going on?" She presumably gestures to me, but I am already closing the door behind me.


End file.
